Friday, February 23, 2007

i'm missing them...

more than a year ago...

...i met this person who has inspired me to get deeper with my faith in God. i was so ashamed then that i have already known the Lord for years but, spiritually, i grew up really slow... if she only knew how thankful i am that God allowed me to know her even for a short while... as far as i can remember, that was my first time to feel na ako naman ang kinukulit umattend ng cell group meetings and weekly fellowships...

noon, naiisip ko dapat di na niya ko pinipilit umattend nun kasi nag-aattend din naman ako ng church every sunday... may ministry ako sa church... and i also attend our church's youth fellowship... what i could not understand that time was why she still insists that i attend their fellowships when i have time...

dati, sarado pa isip ko sa mga ganung bagay...

this academic year, i chose not to stay in a dormitory anymore... mag-uuwian na lang ako para mas makajoin ako ng fellowships sa church namin...

i told her my decision. eventually, she stopped inviting me...

[well actually isang tao lang naman siya... but i really miss their company... [damay na yung cell groupmates niya]]

i'm really missing them... especially now that there are things i really don't understand... but i can't just open it up to everyone... i have to protect other people's integrity... [in other words, the best thing i could do is to keep it for myself...]... and there are times when i just would like to hear from someone... to be encouraged by someone's testimony but no one seems to be there...


...in times like this, when i feel alone... when i feel isolated... when i feel that no one cares about what i've been going through... all i could do is to sit down at the feet of Jesus.. and listen to what He says... these are the perfect times to come near to God... to lay aside everything that bothers me and focus on what He's telling me...

...pero Lord... i really miss her... them... hirap iexplain... [can't compose my thoughts into writing...] basta, si Lord na lang nakakaalam nung iba...

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